Attendants, Parents, & Guests
<b>Attendants</b>
<b>Ask ASAP</b> Don't wait too long to invite your nearest and dearest to be in your wedding. You don’t want them wondering whether you're going to ask them or not-or worse, assuming they’re in your wedding when they're not!
<b>Don't Diss Distance</b> Don’t automatically rule out friends or siblings who live far away. Your attendants are more than people to help you plan your wedding.
<b>Skip the Symmetry</b> You don't need the same number of attendants on each side; if the bride wants five maids and the groom has only three guys in mind, that's fine.
<b>Kids Are Optional</b> If there are no children you two feel particularly close to, you don't need a flower girl and/ or ring bearer.
<b>Don't Assume</b> When they agree to be in the wedding, make sure each attendant is aware of his or her responsibilities-financial and planning-wise.
<b>Be Reasonable</b> Keep in mind that even local attendants have their own lives; it's not fair to expect them to drop everything every time you have a wedding crisis.
<b>How "Special" Is That Role, Really?</b> If you're feeling bad about not being able to include someone as an attendant, think twice before offering them a position such as guest-book watcher. Would you want to do that? They'll be happier with a corsage.
<b>Don't Want a Wedding Party?</b> You don't need attendants-you just need two witnesses over the age of twenty-one to sign your marriage license after the ceremony.
<b>Parents</b>
<b>Easy Money?</b> Don't simply assume your parents are going to write a huge check and then leave you to your own devices. Be (or at least act) grateful for any financial help you receive.
<b>Do Your Research</b> Before you sit down with your families to talk money, find out how much wedding services typically cost in your town ballpark figures are fine), so you'll have a starting point.
<b>Ask Their Opinion</b> They might actually have something helpful to say. Ask them what they think about potential wedding sites, florists, cake flavors, whatever.
<b>Give Them Something to Do</b> Even if you want to plan the wedding mostly yourself, you'll want your parents to feel useful (especially your moms-thats their job). Put them in charge of duties they’re interested in and excited about-but that
you don't feel the need to control yourself.
<b>Get the Dads in on It</b> Legend has it that dads do nothing but pull out their credit cards during wedding planning. Try to make yours feel a bit more important than that!
<b>Be Sensitive to Steps</b> There's nothing like a wedding to bring out insecurity in stepparents and actual parents alike. Try to make everyone feel involved, but draw the line at ultimatums ("If that woman's invited, I'm not going").
<b>Let Them Plan Their Own Parties</b> As much as you might want to tell your mom how to plan your shower or nudge the groom's parents in the "right" direction about the rehearsal dinner, resist. Concentrate on wedding planning.
<b>Best Friends from Birth?</b> Moms can absolutely be matrons of honor; dads make fantastic best men.
<b>Be Sure to Thank Them</b> Give your parents gifts of gratitude soon before the wedding-yes, they know you love and appreciate them, but it never hurts to remind them how much.
<b>Guests</b>
<b>Keep Them Posted</b> If many of your guests are out-of-towners, send out a few mailings after your save-the-date letter; you might want to send (or e-mail) periodic updates, with hotel information, wedding activities, and the like.
<b>Make a Wedding Web Page</b> Keep guests informed by creating a Web page where they can look up details about your wedding (directions, accommodations, and other details) at any time, day or night. Visit www.TheKnot.com to do so.
<b>Put Them Up</b> Reserve a block of rooms at a hotel or bed-and-breakfast close to the wedding sites. Research airfares and car-rental companies. Let guests know about any deals you find.
<b>Welcome Them</b> Welcome baskets in each room are a great way to say, "Hey, glad you're here!" Include fruit, cheese, chocolates, bottled water, and other goodies. Also include directions (maps) to the ceremony and reception sites.
<b>That's Entertainment</b> If guests will be in town for several days, give them ideas for things to do-perhaps a list of your favorite restaurants, shops, and museums, plus maps and tourist brochures.
<b>Put Them in Touch</b> Leave a list of all guests staying in the hotel (add in room numbers at the last minute), plus local contact information (parents, you two, local attendants).
<b>Ask for Hosting Help</b> Attendants or local friends can organize a sight-seeing trip, a barbecue, or a pizza party for out-of-towners. (You don’t have to be at every event, but make an appearance if possible.)
<b>Be Seated</b> Don’t wait until the last minute to draw up a seating chart. Do it at least a week before the wedding. You can always make last-minute changes, but you don’t want to have to deal with the whole thing the night before.
<b>Show Your Love</b> During the reception, toast out-of-town guests.
Courtesy of <a class='navitem2' href='http://theknot.com'>The Knot </a> via <a class='navitem2' href='http://scrippsmedia.com'>Scripps Media</a>
