Food and Drink Etiquette
<b>Q</b>: We don't have the budget to serve a full meal at our wedding reception. Is that okay? How do we make sure people don't expect one?
<b>A</b>: As long as you do not have lots of guests traveling from out of town, it's fine to skip the full meal. Some times of day dictate a meal, some don't. Here are the general guidelines for when people will be expecting meals:
Breakfast 9 -11 a.m; lunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; brunch 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; dinner 6 -9 p.m. To avoid serving a full meal, invite people for tea, 3-5 p.m; cocktails 5 -7 p.m, or dessert 9 p.m. –midnight. Just to be clear, add something along these lines to your invitation: " Please join us for cocktails or tea, or champagne and cake, or light refreshments immediately following the ceremony."
<b>Q</b>: We want to serve a buffet to save money. My parents think this is tacky. What would you do?
<b>A</b>: Here's my take on the buffet-vs.-seated-dinner debate: First off, be aware that a buffet isn't automatically cheaper than a seated meal. In fact, with all the heating equipment, extra food for presentation, and wait staff required to man one, it could actually be more expensive. (Same goes with passed vs. stationary hors d'oeuvres.) I've never minded buffets as a guest because your food stays hot, you get to mingle while you are in line, and you get to choose exactly what and how much you want. The best argument for the seated meal: You are literally waiting on your guests hand and foot. A good compromise is a family-style seated meal, where platters of food are brought by waiters and passed by the guests at the table.
<b>Q</b>: What's the best type of waiter service for a seated meal?
<b>A</b>: There are four service styles: American (plates prepared in the kitchen and brought out to guests by servers); family style (see above); French (waiters prepare food on tables or stands set up next to guest tables and served individual plates); and Russian (white-gloved waiters actually carry each course on a large tray and serve each separately, directly to guests’ plates). Your choice depends on the sense of formality you are trying to create. American is probably the most popular.
<b>Q</b>: Is it necessary to have seating arrangements, or should I just let guests sit wherever they want?
<b>A</b>: lf you're serving a full meal, it makes sense to have seating arrangements. With cocktails, people like to mix and mingle, but when it comes to sitting down for dinner, they prefer knowing where they're supposed to go. Table cards are placed on an easily accessible table outside the main reception room, and they list each guest's (or couple's) name and the number or name of the table where they're sitting. Note: lf you're doing a down-home country barbecue, and it's a really casual affair-and maybe there aren't too many guests, say fifty or less-it would be fine to let everyone sit wherever they want. (Just have more chairs than guests-you won't be able to get the guests to fill every seat at every table.)
<b>Q</b>: Is it okay to have a cash bar? We want our guests to be able to enjoy themselves, but we can't afford a Iot of booze.
<b>A</b>: Don't make your guests pay for drinks at your wedding. If you can't afford a full open bar for the entire reception (lots of couples can't), consider limiting the hours the bar is open-maybe for two hours at the beginning of the reception, closed for an hour during the meal, then open for another hour afterward, but closing (still serving soft drinks) an hour before the reception ends (people have to drive home, remember). Buy liquor yourself from a wholesaler. Serve bar brands of hard liquor instead of brand names. In lieu of champagne, toast with whatever drink anyone has in hand.
Courtesy of <a class='navitem2' href='http://theknot.com'>The Knot </a> via <a class='navitem2' href='http://scrippsmedia.com'>Scripps Media</a>
