Avoiding gift etiquette angst
<b>Engagement Party</b>
Those sometimes old fashioned etiquette books say giving a gift for an engagement is optional, but we say it's a great way to express your happiness for the couple. With any luck they already will have registered for a few things, so all you need to do is check their list. Small tokens of congratulations in the $25 to $50 range are fitting for this occasion: items like handsome candlesticks, cute coasters or a pretty pitcher would let them know how glad you are about their upcoming union.
<b>Bridal Shower</b>
Keep in mind how close you are to the bride, but the acceptable price range for the shower gift is $25 to $75 per person. And, yes, everyone must bring something! If you can't shell out much for this girly gathering, a thoughtful token such as a homemade crocheted scarf or framed photograph is more than acceptable. Otherwise, the theme of the shower can be a good source for ideas: vintage teacups for an afternoon tea party, a cake platter for a recipe party or a picnic basket for two for a beach bash.
If the shindig entails a basic brunch, go with a pick from the registry or get creative and relate your shower and wedding gifts: hand-painted chopsticks with rice bowls can come before a wok, while pretty napkin rings presage a set of fancy napkins. Bridal showers are also an obvious gift-giving occasion for group gifts. Pull up that registry list, or chip in for a pair of theater tickets or a day for two at the spa.
<b>Bachelorette and Bachelor Party</b>
This no-holds-barred bash for the bride is another time where gifts are optional, but still presents a chance to offer a gesture of well wishes. Silly trinkets like candy necklaces or rings, bubbles or glitter all ensure that the night fills with mischief and revelry. Gag gifts like bright wigs and long feather boas also fit the spirit of the evening. This is also the right occasion to hand over the lingerie that seemed too risque for the bridal shower, as well as the books with detailed diagrams on fabulous sex.
For the groom's night out with the guys, gifts aren't necessary. Just be there ready to pay your part for a full night of beers and whatever other debauchery might be in store.
<b>Wedding Day</b>
For the main event, always head straight for the couple's registry list and dig in. Unless you ask, chances are they won't include the information of where they're registered with the invitation (but if they have a wedding Web site it should include the info). Or go to TheKnot.com/registry for a universal gift registry finder. The stats: 98 percent of all couples have at least one registry, either online or in a store, and by picking from this wish list you can guarantee that you'll give them something they can't wait to have at home. (Some 85 percent of couples want you to choose from this compilation before venturing off into things-that'll-end-up-in-the-closet, so we say: Take the hint.)
When considering price, the rule of thumb is to stay above $50. Going by the price-per-plate should definitely not be the way you measure how much you'll spend. First, take into account what would be fitting for your relationship to the couple; also think about acceptable price ranges for the area in which you live. We would suggest that, for a coworker or distant family friend, $50 to $75 should be the aim. For a relative or friend, $75 to $100 would be considered most appropriate. And when giving to a close relative or good friend, anywhere from $100 to $150 is advisable.
Group gifts are also a smart way to go: You can all chip in together and buy the happy couple a big-ticket item of their dreams.
Courtesy of <a class='navitem2' href='http://theknot.com'>The Knot </a> via <a class='navitem2' href='http://scrippsmedia.com'>Scripps Media</a>
