Surviving the Bridal Battlefield
I do. And do, and do, and do.
by Melissa Borden
It’s T-minus 7 days. The mother of the bride is in town for the duration. The MOH also has arrived. And the moving truck is set for pickup at 4:30 this afternoon.
As if planning a wedding and preparing for a marriage isn’t enough. This crazy couple has decided to add another life-changing event to the mix – the purchase of our first home. It’s no easy task. Well, for the average bride, anyway. After last week’s frenzied final round with the caterer, the crisis with the car, work, and all the other day to day stresses, I got organized.
I’ve completed and sent out the wedding day timeline, including arrival times for guests, assignments for attendants and scheduled activities for those closest to the bride and groom. It’s a work of art. I have a copy of the ceremony with cues for the best men and women. I have a digital photograph of the ceremony site complete with handwritten instructions on where the ushers need to seat all the VIPs. Behind that is the menu for the rehearsal dinner, all the contact information for the vendors along with a box to be checked and initialed as each vendor’s arrival time and duty is verified. And it’s all neatly kept together in ‘The Clipboard.’
So, with my wonderful step-by-step instructions neatly stowed in the Clipboard, we begin packing for the move into our new home. The U-Haul is available Sunday evening, at which time we will load all our boxes and belongings. Then, we will take the truck with us Monday morning to the closing. We’ll sign the paperwork, unload the truck and move in. Well, Jason will unload the truck with one of his buddies and my mom and MOH to assist. I have to go back to work. I am working Monday through Wednesday. While I’m working, my mom and MOH are taking care of details like the centerpieces and tending the clipboard very well.
So, Monday we move. Tuesday, while at work, I hit the wall. I am finally brain dead and unable to function. Luckily, unpacking doesn’t take much thought.
Tuesday night, we try to get everything unpacked. It isn’t until 4.50 p.m. Wednesday that I am able to finally get excited about going away for the wedding. No more work. Wednesday, we need to get to the airport to pickup MOH #2 who is flying in from Germany. Only her flight doesn’t come. Poor Courtney and her courageous husband not only miss their first layover, but their second and end up stuck at the airport in Washington D.C.
Thursday morning we end up picking up the wayward travelers from Germany at the same time our friends from Dallas arrive. My best bud Brandon from Dallas came in that morning and immediately asked where the crew from Bridezillas was hiding. All along, he’s been asking when my mental breakdown would take place and could he be a part of it. Lucky for me, not for Brandon, my breakdown hasn’t happened. But, it’s not far off.
We are at the morning of the rehearsal dinner and another crisis creeps up. My dad decides that he isn’t going to wear the same tuxedos as the rest of the wedding party. He’s found another. My fiancé is paranoid he’ll end up in a bowtie when all the others are wearing long ties, so I intervene. I ask my dad via phone about the bowtie. He said he’s not wearing a bow tie. ‘Whew!’ I think. But then he continues: “I’m wearing an ascot.”
For those of you wondering what the heck an ascot is, I’m with ya. Evidently it is some sort of scarf with a pin in it. If there was anything else to worry about, I would have had my meltdown then. However, I held off and got through the phone conversation without verbally insulting my father. But, I still had to break the news to my fiancé. After some choice words about not wanting to take a picture with a man wearing a scarf, we decided I would call back dear old dad and ask him to find a long tie. In silver or grey, cause Jason is wearing black. Dad says he’ll see what he can do and we prepare for the rehearsal dinner.
It was a great dinner. The wait-staff were wonderful, all the right toasts were made and the families were wonderful. After a long day, everyone heads to their respective sleeping arrangements. After sleeping in an airport, Courtney and her husband are eager to get some slumber and we head home as well. Well, right after I learn that dear old dad got the tie. And it’s black.
